It's a funny thing when you can look at something you've done years ago and find meaning in it, different from what it started from.
a lot of things come to mind when I think of this one, even now, five years later. It has always been a personal piece, though I couldn't quite put into words why when I was painting it. But it dawned on me..It's an expression of my love for art, and a bearing of my soul as I hope to blossom into the artist I've always aspired to be.
Trust me, lol I'm not there yet-- I've got a ways to go! But after sifting through the dark for so many years, I've found me a spot of light, and likewise I've been given a chance to grow. What I mean when I say this is, I'm no longer confused about the type of artist I want to be, and I know this because of the opportunities given to me by those who saw potential in my work, and have given me a chance, or, in some cases a push in the right direction.
During portfolio reviews, I had the experience of sitting with professionals in positions I've dreamed of being in. To know that my hard work has paid off thus far, given their positive reviews, I have tremendous confidence, that if I keep pushing forward, challenging myself, and growing as an artist, I will no doubt accomplish everything I have set out to achieve.
To tell you the truth guys, I was a wreck these past couple of months. I don't like letting people see me struggle, so I wear a smile, laugh, joke, but I was falling to pieces inside- like, I broke down in tears at least three times because of the pressure I put on myself, and if it wern't for my friends talking me down-- and keeping me level, I would have broken down more times than that. It's my fault, I pushed my own boundaries, and admittedly too far, but that's just how much all of this means to me...so yah, having all thumbs up at my reviews, was like the icing on the cake.
So what does all this mean? Well, I figured I'd give you a heads up on my plans for the remainder of the year, and forward. As much as I want to pursue some of the studies I had planned for myself, sadly, many of them will be staying on the back-burner, or dropped completely. It was said to me more than once, by several individuals, in and out of reviews at SDCC, that I need to create print worthy material, get booths at cons, and sell.
This doesn't mean I'm going to go all commercial on you guys, but I've had a stock of ideas-- literally a list of them, that I've been compiling for years, of art I wanted to create when my skills were good enough to tackle them. In an effort to follow their advice, I've decided that it's time to make them happen.
Many of the ideas I have consists of art books, illustrated short stories I've written synopsis's for, and several series of art prints centered on themes like twisted fairytales, Nostalgia fan art, zodiacs, or the 7 deadly sins, among many others. In fact, I've decided that the first project I want to tackle is a 20 page illustrated book-- which is a short story of a girl who deals with the 5 stages of grief after her encounter with death on her way to the afterlife. Originally this was something I wanted to do as a series of daily sketches for October, but figured it would work better as an art book with a narrative.
Because this, and many of my other ideas are a huge undertaking for someone like me who has very little free time, and limited resources, It's been suggested by my friends to consider a Crowd Funding, or Patreon to help support me financially in the making and printing of these works. At least that way, I could support myself with my art, work less at my day job, and ultimately create something really special that people can enjoy, and maybe even relate too, and own for themselves.
I'm not sure how to do all that yet, but I know it's going to be a lot of work! In the meantime though, you know what I'll be up too, as my progress will be shared here-- sketches, concept art, all that good stuff!
I've rambled on enough though! But thank you for reading, and for following along as I move forward-- it means a lot, and I'm glad to have the support so many of you have given-- again, thanks!
Till next time, Enjoy!!